10 Great Things About Being ‘With Child’
Okay now I know that some of these don’t always apply – we’ve all met that a**hole that doesn’t care if you’re pregnant and practically slams a door in your face even if your weighted down with more bags than Paris Hiltons assistant (baby’s need LOTs of pretty things don’t ya know!) – but generally speaking, there are quite a few perks to being in the family way. Here are 10 to get you started…
“I don’t feel up to it” is a valid excuse to get out of almost anything. Don’t feel like going to your co-workers night out to celebrate something you couldn’t care less about?, is the thought of seeing an awful romcom at the cinema making you feel suicidal? (they all end the same you know – there’s something keeping them from being together, slightly funny things happen, they get together, happily ever after …yawn yawn yawn), then you are in luck!! “I’m just not feeling up to it” when you’re pregnant is up there with “I have some airborne toxic disease” nobody wants the details, they just take your word for it.
People want you to sit down all the time and offer their seats. Sure this one can get annoying at times, but how great is it to have people actively seeking out not just seating for you but the comfiest that they can find!! Ahhh bliss!??People offer to carry stuff for you.
You are expected to eat a lot. Oh yessss!! Ok so the eating for 2 thing is really a big myth but are you really gonna admit it and pass on that second slice of cake? I wouldn’t!
You can blame crying on the pregnancy. Feel free to burst into uncontrollable crying if you are so inclined because people expect this kind of outbursts from you. So go on….let it all out.
You can blame forgetfulness on the pregnancy. There have been many studies that have discounted pregnancy brain but I think those people just need to keep it to themselves sssshhhh. People find forgetfulness endearing when you’re pregnant, rather than accusing you of early onset dementia. We’re not forgetful because we’re pregnant we just have so much baby related stuff on our minds that other things go astray.
You can blame violence on your pregnancy – however I’m not suggesting you go on a vicious rampage by any means. Some women feel all soft and fluffy through their pregnancies and some women want to take the death stare which I have mastered to a physical level. Pregnancy hormones might even be a viable legal defence (don’t quote me I could be wrong!!). Being overcome with rage and wanting to kick butt Jason Statham style can be perfectly normal due to the hormonal changes in pregnancy. However I do not condone violence so please think carefully before you unleash your inner beast on the office idiot who ate the last of the chocolate biscuits, and try to keep you rage to a minimum – does the guy in the white van who just cut you up really deserve his windscreen smashing with your umbrella? Perhaps not, and besides you don’t want to have to go a buy a new umbrella do you.
People are friendlier. Perhaps being pregnant signifies to some people that you are nurturing and nice (not always true) because strangers WILL find you more approachable and will therefore be friendlier to you. You can even go out in a hoody and people won’t cross the street in fear that you’re a mugger!??
You don’t have to suck it in. Ah, comfy pants. Mmmmm, apple pie. See you later skinny jeans! Go for it, because no one is going to notice or care that you added to the bulge. It’s actually expected of you!
People smile at you. Strangers love pregnant woman and silent newborns but they aren’t too keen when that turn into screaming toddlers. So when people just start randomly smiling at you, you don’t need to check for toilet roll stuck to your shoe, or bird poo in your hair. They often just smile at you for no reason at all.
If they’re not all great things about being pregnant there’s always the little fact that you’ll have your baby at the end of it all!
Posted in Pregnancy