Boobs

PregnantI’m ashamed to admit it but I was often quite nasty, temperamental and emotional during pregnancy. Hormones was probably the excuse I used. I know this is shallow and may be hard for some people to understand, but I was growing increasingly fearful and upset about losing my pre-pregnancy body,after being an overweight child and pretty unhappy with myself as a teen – i’d got to the point where dare I say it I actually liked my body somewhat. I guess coping with the physical changes is not something I gave much thought to beforehand. I was finally able to feel confident with my body and it was all changing and would never be the same again.

One thing I hated was my boobs. They wouldn’t stop growing and growing, I had I got bigger bras and within a few weeks i’d return to suffering from “4 boob” syndrome (you know, when your boobs pop out over the cups – not flattering at all). And although some people may love to have large boobs I do not! They got in the way, made me unable to wear the clothes that I wanted. Not only that but they hurt – a lot! Getting dressed hurt them, getting undressed hurt them, even taking a shower hurt them! It was not fun at all.

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I’m Not Ready!!

Slow DownDo you ever feel like every other mum to be has themselves so together and prepared. Every other mommy on the face of the earth has their nurserys painted, cots bought and built, are informed about what kind of nappies are best, know all about breast feeding, has been to birthing classes , is preparing their bodies for labor with prenatal yoga and such, and has absolutely every aspect of their pregnancy/delivery/homecoming taken care of and you haven’t even began to think about even half of these things. Well that’s how I felt, my pregnancy flew by – at times I just wanted to scream SLOW DOWN!!!!.

Ok so firstly I know that this isn’t true. I know that there are hundreds of other mums to be out there that feel the same way I did. I can’t be the only one who was freaking out about all that I hadn’t done and all the things that I didn’t know. It just felt like it was going so quickly – and I still had so much to do.

Keeping a job, growing a baby, running a house and so on, was enough to make me feel more than a little stretched, and at times it was very overwhelming .

Preparing to bring a new life into the world and into your family is a big deal. Infact make that, HUGE. By 30 weeks this was just some of the things I had left to do:

* Baby’s room needed to be cleaned out of stuff not baby related – I didn’t actually get around to this before baby arrived I decided that there was not point as they would be in our room at first.

* Baby’s room needed painting – as above, didn’t get this done

* Buy a cot – I left this one too, we got a baby hammock instead and got a cotbed for him when he grew out of it.

* Schedule our childbirth class – I went to one with my first and it scared the life out of me so I didn’t go to the rest or go to them with my second.

* Prepare EVERYTHING under the sun for when the baby arrives – think I got this one covered but if I forgot anything it wasn’t missed so I must of done ok.

The thought of holding my baby in my arms is what got me through and stopped me from being totally freaked all the time. I wanted to be a good mum, no scratch that I wanted to be the best mum in the world (don’t we all?). I couldn’t believe that all of these mummy emotions happen long before I even got to hold the little bundle.

I realised that I needed to concentrating on just being me and doing the best job I could even if that meant that nursery wasn’t started. That didn’t mean I was not excited beyond belief for the little life in my tummy, no matter how much there is left to do, you’ll get there in the end.

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National Infertility Awareness Week

National Infertility Awareness week 2012It might seem like a strange topic to post about of here but it breaks my heart to think of how many people have tried to have children but, for whatever reason, haven’t been able to. My best friend is one of those people and having been through failed rounds of IVF she has come to terms with the fact that she is not going to become a mum.

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week this week.

Whilst reading their website I thought, is was brilliant, it could of helped me to handle my friends infertility much better if i’d known about it at the time.

I especially appreciated this post from Resolve, The National Infertility Association, about infertility etiquette for friends and families and wanted to share it with you.

 

Infertility Etiquette by

ResolveThe National Infertility Association

This is not the full post but excerpts from the fantastically written article.

For the full article, go here.

  • Don’t Tell Them to Relax - The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.
  • Don’t Minimize the Problem - Comments like, “Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.,” do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimising their pain.
  • Don’t Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
  • Don’t Say They Aren’t Meant to Be Parents
  • Don’t Ask Why They Aren’t Trying IVF - People frequently ask, “Why don’t you just try IVF?” in the same casual tone they would use to ask, “Why don’t you try shopping at another store?”
  • Don’t Be Crude - Crude comments like “I’ll donate the sperm” or “Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination” are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.
  • Don’t Complain About Your Pregnancy - You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don’t put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.
  • Don’t Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant - For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don’t follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn’t ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.
  • Don’t Gossip About Your Friend’s Condition - Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret… Respect your friend’s privacy, and don’t share any information that your friend hasn’t authorised.
  • Don’t Push Adoption - When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue herself.
  • Let Them Know That You Care - Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one.
  • Remember Them on Mother’s Day - Remember your infertile friends on Mother’s Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven’t “forgotten” them.
  • Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments  - Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don’t try to open that chapter again

I hope that you are never in need of the above advise but with a friend who suffers from infertility I find these to be great tips, although without the ability to magically allow her to have a child I know I can never take away the pain of her want to be a mother.

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Second Pregnancy Worries

PregnantAside from all the usual pregnancy worries, I had additional worries in my second pregnancy. Towards the end of my third trimester, the realisation that this new child would soon be in our lives, started to scare the hell of me.

I worried that my daughter wouldn’t like her little brother. I had a greater fear of labor than the first time around due to the complications I had. But the most predominant thought in my mind was: Am I insane to have another child when some days, I feel like I can barely cope with one?

Don’t get me wrong. I already loved my baby. He had been planned and wanted for so long. I couldn’t wait to hold him in my arms. But at times I was overcome with worry. So as I wondered how I can get over the anxiety and the crippling self-doubt, I simply reminded myself that I’ve done this before and managed.

I’d survived a rather traumatising and long labor.

I knew how to change nappies, wipe a bum, bathe a delicate newborn and just the right way to swaddle them tightly (the first time round, I was clueless).

Our daughter was healthy, happy and thriving.

So I decided I’d got this. I could do it!

I have a very flexible birth plan (give birth was the only thing on it).

The midwives were aware of, and prepared for the possibility of a return of the complications from the first time round.

I knew I could cope with less sleep (maybe not firing on all cylinders but could cope).

I knew now that my house would not be spotless and that’d be okay (secretly pleased about this as i’m naturally quite messy).

I knew I could definitely squeeze in a quick shower and change into clean clothes every day at some point.

I came to realise that accepting help is not a weakness, and is in fact, very smart (ok slight exaggeration, I still struggle accepting help but I do know where to turn when I need it).

I managed to calm myself down by reminding myself of these things and thinking ‘Yeah, I’ve got this.’

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Packing Your Hospital Bag

As you can tell this blog is in no particular order and is quite random. So i’m moving on to packing your hospital back. They recommend that you have it packed from around 36 weeks – which will give you time to pack and unpack it hundreds of times when you think you have forgotten something! Shopping for this was actually lots of fun because I got to throw lots of wonderful lotions and potions into my trolley….guilt free. But it in fact took quite a few shopping trips to complete. You see, I’m not a natural planner but this is definitely one of those times to be organised, just in case!

I thought it might be helpful to share my list with you below.  Please feel free to let me know if I’ve missed anything!

For me:Hospital Bag

  • Hospital notes
  • Flip flops or slippers to walk around hospital in
  • 2 pyjama sets or nighties for labour
  • 1 nice pair of PJ’s – for after the baby arrives
  • Toiletry bag, including shampoo, conditioner, dry shampoo, cleansing wipes, toothpaste, toothbrush, vaseline/lip balm (my lips get very dry during labour – not sure if this common)
  • Thick socks (my feet get really cold during labour but again this could just be me)
  • 5 x pairs of big knickers (cheap ones bought specifically for this that can just be thrown away)
  • Maternity pads
  • Going home outfit
  • Nursing bras
  • Nipple cream (Lansinoh lanolin was my saviour when breastfeeding!)
  • Breast pads
  • Camera
  • Phone charger
  • Spare Batteries if using Tens machine – i didn’t pack these and luckily the hospital gave me some (lucky for them as much as me!)

For baby:

  • Stack of newborn nappies
  • 2 x babygros
  • 2 x blanket
  • 2 x hats, socks and mittens
  • Going home outfit
  • Snuggly all-in-one travel outfit

Food and Entertainment

  • iPod loaded up with music
  • iPod dock
  • Snacks. Lots of them.
  • Money for vending machines & cafeteria. (We went for a breakfast whilst I was in Labour!)
  • Selection of magazines and a book

If you are planning on formula feeding your baby it is best to check if you hospital will provide this or if you will need to bring your own. You will usually be given a list from your midwife of what you will be required to take as some hospitals may not provide towels etc….

The most important thing to take with you is an open mind…..you cannot guarantee everything will turn out the way you planned.

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Smoking In Pregnancy

OK, so you know it’s important to give up smoking now you’re pregnant or trying for a baby. But as many mums will testify, it’s not always as easy as simply throwing away your last packet and forgetting about it. As an ex-smoker myself I can certainly testify to that.

No Smoking SignIf you’re a pregnant smoker, stopping smoking is probably the best thing you can do for your baby. But it could also be one of the hardest. It could be argued that the stress of stopping smoking is bad for your baby, but I think that the risks associated with smoking are obviously much worse.

It’s likely that your smoking is more than just a habit, it’s an addiction. And when you deny yourself that addiction, you can expect to feel cravings, giving you powerful urges to light up. Although the routine associated with smoking is almost an addiction in itself. So changing your normal routine a little could help break it. If you usually smoke with your morning cuppa, try doing something else to occupy your mind.

Cravings are intense, but they don’t last for long. A craving will usually last between three minutes and five minutes, and then pass, whether you light up or not. As soon as the craving passes, that next cigarette no longer seems so necessary.

Cravings are usually at their most intense for the first few days after you stop smoking. These urges will continue to be strong for a couple of weeks. After that, your brain will slowly adjust to a life without nicotine, though you won’t be completely in the clear for a while. A lot of quitters have to fight occasional cravings for at least a year or even longer.

If you smoke during pregnancy, you have a higher risk of having a baby with a low birth weight. This is in addition to the increased risk of heart disease and cancer that you have as a smoker.

Babies born to women who smoke during pregnancy are, on average, significantly smaller than those born to women who don’t smoke. Low birth weight is one of the main causes of illness and disability in babies, and also increases the risk of your baby being stillborn.

Smoking in pregnancy increases the risk of cot death by four times if you have between one and nine cigarettes a day. This rises to an eight times higher risk of cot death if you smoke 20 cigarettes or more a day.

Other harmful effects of smoking include:

  • ectopic pregnancy
  • miscarriage
  • premature labour
  • placental abruption
  • vaginal bleeding

The further into pregnancy you smoke, the greater your risk of complications. If you stop smoking during the first half of your pregnancy, your baby is more likely to have a healthy birth weight. So stopping, or at the very least cutting down as early as possible, should be your aim.

Stopping smoking can be tough when the cravings hit, so you’ll probably need help. There’s plenty of support available to you. Your midwife or doctor can advise you and put you in touch with your local stop smoking support scheme.

Ok so on a more lighthearted note a few tips of my own:

  • A lot of people worry about putting on weight when they stop smoking, at least this can now be hidden with your pregnancy weight gain. You could replace your nicotine addiction with a chocolate addiction!
  • You could save the money you usually spend on smoking and buy yourself lovely new clothes for your increasing bump or just buy baby things, which in itself is addictive I was unstoppable!!
  • If your partner smokes get them to quit too, make it competitive! If you as stubborn as me you’ll quit just to win! (It also will help your cravings if those around you aren’t smoking).

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Antenatal Notes (Part 2)

Are you ready for part 2? Well here goes….

Relation of PP to brim: - Your midwife will measure how much of your baby’s head/bottom can be felt above the brim of your pelvis as fifths: 5/5 means that the head is not engaged; 0/5 means that the head is fully engaged.

Purple StethoscopeEng/E: Engaged - Head engaged.

NE: Not engaged

AC: Abdominal circumference - The size of your baby’s stomach measured during a scan. This is used with your baby’s head circumference (HC) and leg length to calculate his estimated weight.

CRL: Crown-rump length

LMP: Last menstrual period

EDD/EDC: Estimated date of delivery/Estimated date of confinement

FBC: Full blood count - This refers to a blood test that checks the levels of haemoglobin in your blood. Haemoglobin is a substance found in red blood cells that carries oxygen around your body to your baby. The test also checks your blood’s platelet levels. These help your blood to clot.

Hb: Haemoglobin - Iron is a big component of haemoglobin so if your midwife finds your levels are low and you’re anaemic, she may prescribe an iron supplement.

Fe: Iron - You’ve been prescribed iron to treat anaemia.

TCA: To come again

Height of Fundus: - The measurement from the top of your uterus to the top of your pubic bone. This is used to ensure your baby is growing at a normal rate.

SFD: Small for dates

LFD: Large for dates

PET: Pregnancy Induced Hypertension - Better known as pre-eclampsia, this is a common complication of pregnancy that affects blood pressure.

Oedema: This is the medical term for fluid retention, which leads to swelling. It is common to swell around your hands and feet during pregnancy but if you experience sudden swelling, contact your midwife. Combined with high blood pressure and/or protein in your urine this may be a sign of pre-eclampsia.

CS: Caesarean section

H/T: Hypertension -High blood pressure.

MSU: Midstream specimen of urine - When MSU is noted, it means a specimen has been sent to the hospital lab to test it for infection. Urine is tested at every antenatal appointment for protein and glucose. Protein may indicate infection, pregnancy induced hypertension or it could just be a contaminated sample. Glucose may be the first indicator of gestational diabetes. Or, it could just be that you had a jam donut, a chocolate bar and other sugary delights before filling up the pee pot! Further tests are then carried out if either protein of glucose are detected.

Primip: Primigravida - This is your first pregnancy.

Multip: Multigravida - You’ve given birth previously.

VE: Vaginal examination.

 

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Antenatal Notes (Part 1)

Antenatal notes can look like a foreign language and if you’re anything like me you’ll come home from your appointments and read them whilst self diagnosing yourself with allsorts!! So i’ve done a little research to find out what it all means.

Pink StethoscopeNAD/nil or a tick: No abnormality detected in urine sample.

PGO: Protein, glucose, other detected in urine sample.

BP: Blood pressure

The top number is the systolic blood pressure reading. This shows the maximum pressure exerted when your arteries contract. The bottom number is the diastolic blood pressure reading. This indicates the pressure in your arteries when your heart is at rest.

FH: Foetal heart

FHH/NH: Foetal heart heard/Not heard

Your embryo’s heart starts beating on about day 22 of pregnancy and can be heard by your midwife from about 14 weeks, or slightly later. A normal foetal heart rate is between 120 and 160 beats per minute.

FMF/FMNF: Foetal movements felt/not felt

PP: Presenting part- The part of your baby’s body that is in or about to move into your pelvis – in other words, the bit that will be delivered first.

Your baby could be:

Ceph: Cephalic or VX: Vertex. Head down (Cephalic and Vertex refer to the head)

Br: Breech. Your baby’s bottom is within your pelvis.

Tr: Transverse. Your baby’s lying sideways.

Lie: This also refers to the position of your baby.

O: Occiput. Refers to the back of your baby’s head.

LOA: Left Occiput Anterior - The back of your baby’s head is on your left-hand side and towards the front of your tummy.

ROA: Right Occiput Anterior - The back of your baby’s head is on your right-hand side and towards the front of your tummy.

LOP: Left Occiput Posterior - The back of your baby’s head is on your left-hand side and towards the back of your tummy.

ROP: Right Occiput Posterior - The back of your baby’s head is on your right-hand side and towards the back of your tummy.

LOL: Left Occiput Lateral - The back of your baby’s head is to your left side.

ROL: Right Occiput Lateral - The back of your baby’s head is to your right side.

Long L: Longitudinal lie - Your baby is lying parallel to your spine.

SA: Sacrum Anterior - Your baby is in the breech position with his bottom closest to your pubic bone.

RSA: Right Sacrum Anterior - Your baby is in the breech position with his bottom closest to your pubic bone, turned slightly to your right.

LSA: Left Sacrum Anterior - Your baby is in the breech position with his bottom closest to your pubic bone, turned slightly to your left.

SP: Sacrum Posterior - Your baby is breech with his bottom facing your back.

RSP: Right Sacrum Posterior - Your baby is breech with his bottom facing your back, turned slightly to the right.

LSP: Left Sacrum Posterior - Your baby is breech with his bottom facing your back, turned slightly to the left.

RST: Right Sacrum Transverse - Your baby is lying transverse with his head on your right.

LST: Left Sacrum Transverse - Your baby is lying transverse with his head on your left.

 

After all that I think I need a cup of tea before I start on part 2!

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Pressure To Look Stylish In Pregnancy

Back in the 70s/80s, pregnant women used to wear dungarees. Or tent-like smock dresses in pastel colours, often with twee bow detail at the neckline and Peter Pan collars.

Demi Moore Pregnant Vanity FairBut in 1991, Demi Moore (followed by a growing number of celebs) went and changed everything by posing naked for the cover of Vanity Fair when she was seven months pregnant. From then on it became fashionable to show off your bump and shapeless maternity wear was quickly replaced by more flattering, form-fitting styles.

But even though we’ve been saved from nine months of dungarees, we now have a new problem: there’s so much more pressure for women to dress fashionably right up to the point that they go into labour.

Take Beyoncé, who continued to wear sequins, cut-out dresses and statement wedges throughout her pregnancy. Hers was undoubtedly the most glam bump in the business, she looked amazing throughout her pregnancy – but then again doesn’t she always. Ok so I doubt she spends the whole day running around at work on those incredibly high heels and maybe she is just like the rest of us and grabs her pjs as soon as she gets home. But seeing the images of so many glamorous celebs dressed to the nines proudly showing of their bumps are common place now.

And where celebrities go, the majority tend to follow.

Jessica Simpson Pregnant ElleI would imagine that a lot of women really do want to wear the latest trends when they’re expecting. Which is fair enough really, it’s not right to feel as though you should hide away wearing a shapeless sack, which tends to just make you look fat not pregnant.

Being pregnant doesn’t mean you have to lose your identity. So if you love a bit of leopard print, buy some – even just a scarf or some comfy flats. If you’re a magpie, you can pile on the sequins and layer up jewellery to the max. You can still stay true to yourself whilst remaining comfortable.

But while it’s true that you’re more likely to feel better during your pregnancy if you make a bit of an effort, there usually comes a point where you no longer care what you wear as long as it fits (or was that just me?).

That’s when most women embrace the late pregnancy wardrobe of leggings, T-shirts, baggy jumpers and comfortable shoes. After all, this is one of the only times in your life when you have a good excuse to spend days in your pyjamas – and it would be a shame to let the opportunity go to waste, wouldn’t it?

Given a choice between tottering around on heels looking like a balloon with legs sitting at home with your feet up in late pregnancy, I know which I’d prefer.

What do you think? Are we under too much pressure to look super stylish when pregnant? Should it be the one time we can just relax and enjoy rather than trying to pour ourselves into LBDs and heels?

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Maternity Clothes

When I was pregnant I found that there was a huge gap in the market. Pregnancy wear! Although it is getting more widely available, at the time I was pregnant I found that everything out there is unflattering, unimaginative and generic!? This was not helped by the fact that I am vertically challenged (we are not all giants!!)

Maternity ClothesI’m not some fashionista but I do enjoy clothes and like to express a bit of my personality through what I wear. I was therefore massively disappointed to find nothing remotely exciting on the High Street. Sure, there’s the H&M, New Look and Topshop range, but even they failed to please. The clothes are simply a square version of the originals. It would seem that none of these stores have ever seen a pregnant woman – let alone be one! I was for the most part proud of my bump. Why the need for all those unflattering styles? Are we supposed to just look like we are wearing a tent? Don’t even get me started on Maternity Bras!!! Urgh!!

The other issue is the cost. The companies that have obviously bothered to do some market research and even employ a buyer with some experience charge through the nose for their items. Is it me, or do you also feel resentful forking out on a £50 top that you will only wear for a small percentage of your life?! I ended up ‘making do’ for 9 months.

Personally, I have took to wearing my everyday clothes for as long as possible I found that looping a hair band through the button hole and around the button on my jeans then covering it with a belly band worked a treat – well up to a point. As maternity jeans were just much too long for me. As a hater of leggings they were out of the question for me but I can see how they would be a cheap and comfortable solution. For those who have yet to discover them, I must praise the genius of pregnancy tights! After struggling with the standard type for months, I was overwhelmed by the comfort and support of these specially tailored versions, which include extra material for your growing bump. They really are worthwhile.

On the positive side the lack of desirable clothes saved me some money – but I did end up with a LOT of shoes and bags!

I’d love to hear about any tips that you have, or any shops that you would recommend…

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