Prenatal Care At Home

Pregnancy Worries

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Emma

If you are a pregnant mother or soon will be, this an important reality you may face. You may get stressed and worried. Why? The physical and mental changes (not forgetting the hormones) of a pregnant woman can affect her stress levels-especially as you know start to look at yourself as a mother. Even the woman who was a oozing with confidence and with her model figure, was never short of admirers may feel sluggish, chubby unsure of herself seemingly overnight. In her mind, she sees herself as ugly and dumpy, even though others just see her beautiful motherly glow.

Common Worries Among Pregnant Women

1. Pregnant women face an almost endless list of concerns-some valid and others not so. One of the most common worries is that of miscarriage, which is a big fear for women in their first trimester, especially if they have experienced past miscarriages or problem pregnancies. Miscarriage can be heartbreaking, an can be an event for which many women blame themselves. I did with my miscarriages, as I’m sure do many others. Constantly asking myself – Is it something I did? If I had done anything differently, would my baby have lived? I couldn’t help it I felt responsible for the loss of my babies, feeling like a failure having a baby is supposed to be one of the most natural things in the world but so it was obviously my fault right?Anyone who has experienced this how horrible a loss is, and in most cases the Mum is not to blame no matter what she may think.

2. Women also naturally worry if their babies will be healthy, so they fret over whether or not they are eating the right foods, taking the right vitamins and getting enough exercise. We are no longer caring for ourselves but have the responsibility of growing a human!! The worry can sometimes take over everything from whether or not this cheese could be as bad for you as Anthrax (slight exaggeration maybe) to how long she should wait to take her vitamin after lunch. As many silly worries as you may have, they can be valid issues of concern. They affect some women to greater degrees than others. I consider myself a generally laid back kinda person but I seriously did my share of worrying in pregnancy I was borderline neurotic at times!

3. It isn’t rare for expecting moms to ask themselves, “Will I love my baby enough?” and “Will I know what to do when my baby cries or gets sick?” The answer is yes, or it will be after a little experience. But, like most things in life you’ll pick it up quickly – I had barely even held another baby before having my first! When you start a new career with no guide book, it can be very intimidating and parenting is just the same.

4. Other issues that creep up include finances and daycare. Most mothers take a maternity leave from work after their babies are born, staying at home is not to everyones liking and some people aren’t financially able to leave work to be a SAHM (I couldn’t with my first, but could with my second) and finding the right daycare where your baby will be happy and where you will feel reassured in leaving your little one can be a massive challenge.

Of course, these issues are just a few worries that pregnant women may face. Naturally, every woman has her own specific circumstances that make some of these concerns less important, while others are more so. There are also concerns each woman has that are unique to her. In extreme situations, these stresses can lead into depression. Women feeling overwhelming and/or debilitating feelings of sadness or hopelessness should consult an their Midwife / OBGYN or a counsellor ASAP. We all get down at times and some of us may need a little help.

Posted in Pregnancy | Tags: Birth, Birth Plan, Miscarriage, Nutrition In Pregnancy, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Blog, Pregnancy Stress, Pregnancy Worries | No Comments

Why Do We Put So Much Pressure On Each Other?

Posted on January 28, 2012 by Emma

Whilst being pregnant I was faced with an overwhelming amount of information to process due to reading so many books and magazines. I found myself getting very annoyed by some of the things I was reading (and stupidly this did not stop me from doing so).

Birth Plan While it’s great to have some idea of what sort of mum you want to be, and what type of birth you’d like to have, I think it is totally ridiculous to speak about something with such conviction when may have never even done it before! Surely you’re just setting yourself up for a huge fall? Whilst some people are lucky enough for things to turn out just the way they planned, for most of us that is not the reality. Your birth may have complications, you may not have time to use real nappies all the time, and you may struggle with breastfeeding and you won’t be the only ones to do so.

I didn’t realise how many horrible pressures women put on each other during pregnancy, being so judgemental of each other seemed to be very common placed. My approach to my pregnancies, and births, was to take it how it comes. Try to remain open-minded and seek the advice of professionals who have more experience than random people who you don’t even know. I never even wrote a birth plan either time! I had complications with my first so didn’t see the point in writing one for my second. I had a rough idea of what I wanted but was willing to adapt if needed.

The epidural debate is another thing that gets on my nerves! Shouldn’t we be supporting each other and not competing for the toughest mummy award? (there isn’t one by the – I checked). I realise that some feel strongly that childbirth is the most natural thing in the world and that women have been doing it unassisted for hundreds of years…but lets face it – it hurts – a lot – and medicine has evolved since then and there are other options available now. Everyone has a different pain threshold (the midwife when I was having my second was shocked at how calm I was – she said she was climbing the walls at 7cm – thank you Tens Machine!!), some labours are only an hour or 2 long some are much more (i’m in the second category with both of mine), every single birth is different so why should we put such pressure on each other for them all to be the same? If you feel like the pain is too unbearable, then have an epidural or whatever it is you need. I hate the horrible stigma that opting for one somehow suggests that you are not as worthy as the mummy next to you who is fine with just breathing through the pain. I say this as a mummy who didn’t have an epidural – I will not judge you if you do, and nor should anyone else. The help is there for you if you need it – why make yourself suffer because of the opinions of others?

People must realise that unexpected things often happen during childbirth (i know this from personal experience). Sadly it doesn’t always go to plan and having an open mind would be a huge advantage at these times. If things don’t go to plan and you need any kind of assistance it doesn’t make you a failure. But having said that I still hope that everything goes to plan and you get the birth that you want. Whilst I respect that everyone is entitled to their own opinions / beliefs, we also entitled to our own – and I don’t think we should be ignoring them.

Posted in Pregnancy | Tags: Birth, Birth Plan, Epidural, Gas and Air, Labor, Labour, Pain Relief, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Blog, Pregnancy Books, Pregnancy Magazines, Tens Machine | No Comments

12 Weeks Pregnant – Ultrasound.

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Emma

When you get to 12 weeks you’ll be glad to be out of the “danger zone” as the chance of miscarriage decreases. I guess all through you’re pregnancy nothing is ever 100% safe, but reaching this milestone is an important one not only for this reason but also because fro a lot of people this is the first time you will get to see your little one!

However with my second pregnancy I had an earlier scan as I had had some bleeding. We discovered from an ultrasound that I was intact carrying twins but sadly only 1 heartbeat could be detected on the ultrasound and also on an internal scan. So until 12 weeks I was definitely walking around on eggshells, hoping that I wouldn’t lose this baby and more than a little nervous about seeing that little heartbeat on the screen. After what feels like an eternity in the waiting room, they took us in to have a look. Luckily everything was fine and he was perfectly healthy, although it was mixed emotions for me, on one hand I was so relieved that my baby was ok but sadness for the one that we had lost, the moment that I saw him it felt more real, the ultrasound technician could of been saying anything at this point – I wouldn’t have a clue I was paying no attention at all – too mesmerised by what I was seeing.

I'm Pregnant

They printed off my little pictures and we waited to be seen again. They measured my height – I was smaller than I thought (not good when your already vertically challenged!), weight asked hundreds of questions tested my wee and took blood for testing too, then we were free to go with our pictures to show everyone. .It was now official and we could start sharing the news!

Now all you have to do is decide how to announce it! Are you any good at baking? Announcements that you can eat sound good to me.

Posted in Pregnancy | Tags: 12 Weeks, Blood Tests, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Blog, Scan, Ultrasound | No Comments

Privacy In Pregnancy – Does It Exist?

Posted on January 20, 2012 by Emma

I mentioned this in an earlier blog post but i thought i’d expand a little, maybe I am a little oversensitive on this issue as I am a generally private person – or was before I started this blog but I felt a general lack of privacy during my pregnancies and too much negativity regarding my choices which were not always agreed with by others.

When you are pregnant or have a new baby peoples attitudes towards you seem to change they often seem little or no grasp of the concept that this is your pregnancy/baby and these are some helpful guidelines for the non pregnant people in your life: Privacy In Pregnancy

The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ‘Congratulations!’ with genuine enthusiasm. If this is not possible TRY HARDER – any other response can be quite upsetting.
Through the wonders of ~~science~~ common sense, we know that babies are made ONLY by the mum and dad (except in exceptional circumstances)– not grandparents, aunts, uncles or nice lady in the local shop. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ‘my baby’ – you are not the one doing all the hard work.
Also, unless you made the baby as defined in the above point, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. It is not your choice / decision to make. Although your input is appreciated and sometimes valued, you have no right to sulk when we do it our way!
The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant,and I presume you would also not ask about the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use (or not) their breasts. If we want to share this information we will. Leave us with some dignity intact please – we already have to be prodded and poked and examined enough!
Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop (I heard this a lot), must be having twins (this one too and no I wasn’t), looks swollen or has gained weight anywhere else. Likewise I would imagine that telling her she looks too small would only make her worry that she is somehow starving her baby (nobody EVER said this too me). If you are having a fat day or not looking your best do you really want everyone pointing it out to you?
By the time we reach adulthood, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer – when it finally arrives – when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes as there is not much we can do about it now. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer (Must remember to have a winter baby next time).
Childbirth is actually not a public event. And even though the extra cash could buy nice baby things – we will not be selling tickets! As crazy as it may sound, some women really do not relish the idea of a host of family members seeing them at there worst along with a view of their genitals. If you are wanted or need there you will be invited do not presume or sulk (yes mum I meant you). Some people think the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You wasn’t around the baby was created (it’s private), don’t expect to be there when baby arrives (again private).
If you offer to help after the birth (thank you), this may mean helping around the house, help with cooking meals, shopping, school runs and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby all the time and interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules (we don’t want them to need to held to go to sleep as this will cause problems later on) is not really helping.
We know that you want to visit and get to know the new baby but don’t overstay your welcome, it’s our baby and we would like some ALONE time if it’s not too much to ask. And please please please no unexpected house calls – it is quite likely that we haven’t been sleeping and don’t welcome being woken up by the door bell.

Ok so maybe I do go a little over the top but I am sure that you will be faced with at least one of these situations. I am the master of evil looks and seem to nip it in the bud with a quick glance but I am sure you can find a nice way of letting people know that you want them to back off a little at the times when it gets a bit too much!

Posted in Pregnancy | Tags: Breast Feeding, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Blog, Pregnancy Weight Gain, Privacy | No Comments

Baby’s Due Date

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Emma

This whole due date thing is rather odd really, I mean not unless you are spot on with your cycle and or when you conceived its hard to tell exactly how many weeks you are and when you are due, it’s all guess work really. Doctors/ Midwives give you an estimated due date based on measurements of you baby and when you last period was, but babies can be different sizes right? and I don’t know about you but I’m not the most reliable date tracker!

They really should put more of an emphasis on the ESTIMATED part as this is rarely mentioned! I am sure that when your due date arrives, you will be more than ready to have your baby as I was! Most women deliver the baby somewhere between 37 and 42 weeks but if you go past 40 weeks (or so called 40 weeks) they start to tell you that you are late and therefore you may need a sweep or failing that need to be induced – the clock starts ticking faster!!

Only around only 5% of babies arrive on the exact due date (my daughter did) but when you’ve been waiting 40 weeks with a particular end date in mind, passing that date is not what you want or sometimes even expect. I’ll happily admit that when my due date came and went with no sign of my son I was a little upset and maybe even a little annoyed, I was desperate to meet him! This is not helped by people constantly saying ‘not long now’ from around 36 weeks and having has your hospital bag packed for so long that it’s starting to gather dust!!

Your baby will come when its ready – it’s as simple as that and although the 3 days that my son was late by may have been the longest days in the history of time (I swear it’s true), whats a few more days when you’ve got a lifetime together? Enjoy the sleep whilst you can whilst your baby is having a little last growth – you’ll miss your bump when it’s gone!

I suggest renaming the estimated due date to estimated due time period (or something similar) as it would be much more accurate.

Posted in Pregnancy | Tags: Baby's Due Date, Due Date Calendar, Estimated Due Date, Hospital Bag, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Blog, Pregnancy Sleep | No Comments

Baby Names

Posted on January 12, 2012 by Emma

Choosing a baby name can be harder than it sounds. With thousands of baby boys names and girls names to pick from is not only a tough decision but one that you have to get right. Choosing a baby’s name is an important step because they will have it for life. So you are really picking a baby / toddler / child / teenager / grown up / old person name which makes it even more difficult!

We all choose our baby names in different ways and for different reasons but the No. 1 thing we all have in common is that we want it to be different. I doubt many people would like their child to be 1 of 10 in a class with the same name.

When choosing a name for my daughter I had quite a few I liked and told people about them and everybody’s opinion on them was different, some people where just rude!! After all I was naming MY baby and they were the names that I liked! When choosing a name for my son my husband bought a baby name book which we went through and highlighted the names we liked and when people came to the house they would pick it up and have a look through pulling faces or making comments about the names we liked so we never discussed it with anyone and made sure that the book was out of sight in future. This was quite early on – before we had even discovered we were having a boy and when people would ask about what names we had chosen we just told them we hadn’t decided. We had a very tiny short list of 2/3 names and selected our preferred name on the day he was born, we announced his name at this time and there was no discussion with people trying to influence our decision! We got it right – his name is perfect and we love it! So maybe keeping mum about your short list might be a good idea!

Parents will take inspiration for names wherever they can find it, be it books, films, places… as long as the name is attractive, they’ll use it. I have even found myself reading the credits at the end of movies to look for names (does that make me weird?).

Here are a few tips that I found helpful when naming my children :

Search through baby books or on-line books and make a list of the names you like, include as many as you can. Then go back the next day and cross off the ones you don’t like as much. After about a week you should have your list narrowed down to a few choices.
You need to choose a name that goes with your last name. Also consider the initials your child will have. If the initials form a word or having a meaning then choose a different name .
Unique / wacky spellings can make it difficult when your child is constantly spelling or having their name mispronounced. Although saying that my sons name is not spelt the ‘conventional’ way, we chose the celtic version which we though was better, as it is nicer and is now spelt the way it is spoken making it easier for him to write now that he is learning! (take that you doubters!!)
Consider your other children’s names. Choose a name that sounds good when said with the others. (Do you really want a Billy, Milly & Lilly?)
You might want to choose a few names then wait until you see your baby before deciding which name fits best. My daughter was being named Hannah until she was born then I changed my mind the minute I saw her. Keep an open mind as your chosen name might not suit your baby.
I said it and I’ll say it again – before choosing a name remember that your child will have it for the rest of their life. If you wouldn’t want the name your child probably won’t either. Don’t choose a name just because it’s popular or you think it sounds cute. Remember your child will one day be an adult. Princess might sound cute for a little girl but not so good for a high powered executive or a lawyer.

But above all else just choose the names that YOU want, not everyone will agree with your choice but it’s not their decision to make. You wouldn’t expect to name somebody else’s baby would you? So don’t let them choose yours.

Posted in Pregnancy | Tags: Baby Name Books, Baby Names, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Blog | No Comments

Where’s My Glow?

Posted on January 6, 2012 by Emma

Glow If like me now that you’re pregnant you’re wondering where’s that expectant glow you’ve heard so much about? Shouldn’t you be looking radiant right now?

This is the one time in your life when you can are supposed to be able to confidently flaunt your womanly curves and enjoy thick glossy hair, long, strong nails and luminous skin – isn’t it? Well that’s what we’re lead to believe, but in reality, nausea, lack of sleep, not enough energy to run a brush through my hair some mornings (thankfully I have long hair and this could be disguised!) and skin changes left some me wondering if I would ever start ‘blooming’.

The pregnancy glow is not just a saying it’s scientific fact! (and yes I do like to be scientific!) . Your skin retains more moisture during pregnancy, which plumps it up, smoothing out any fine lines and wrinkles that you might have. The pinkish glow that makes you look radiant is due to increased levels of blood circulating round your body.

However this does not have the same effect on everyone! With my first pregnancy I got spots – not millions but too many for my liking! This is due to the higher levels of hormones blah blah blah….but I wanted my glow not spots!! Luckily I didn’t seem to have this with my second pregnancy but am not convinced I was ‘glowing’. In fact the glow may have just been due to the fact that I was often pink faced and sweaty due to being heavily pregnant in the height of summer working in a room with no air con!! I certainly did not feel a glow – I felt hideous at times!!!

Skin tends to become more sensitive during pregnancy, not only due to higher hormone levels, but because it has become more stretched and delicate. I have since developed mild eczema on my hands and am lead to believe that this will worsen when I get pregnant again but so long as I get my ‘glow’ I won’t mind – surely I’m due one? Third time lucky right?

Posted in Pregnancy | Tags: Pregnancy, Pregnancy Blog, Pregnancy Skincare, Pregnancy Symptoms | No Comments

Vitamins In Pregnancy

Posted on January 3, 2012 by Emma

Many people take vitamin supplements when pregnant and although It is best to get vitamins and minerals from the food you eat, there are some vitamins and minerals that are especially important. Many doctors recommend taking folic acid supplements until you are 12 weeks pregnant. Folic acid is important for pregnancy as it can help prevent birth defects known as neural tube defects, which can cause conditions such as spina bifida. If you didn’t take folic acid before you conceived, it is recommended to start as soon as you find out that you are pregnant. Also eating foods that contain folic acid, such as green leafy vegetables and brown rice, some breakfast cereals, breads can be a good idea too. Vitamins

I took folic acid in my first pregnancy but in my second i took Pregnacare Plus and when it wasn’t really up to eating due to sickness it was reassuring to know that my baby was getting the vitamins and nutrients he needed (including the recommended 400mg of folic acid) even at the times when my diet was no so good! I carried on taking these up to the birth and continued during breastfeeding. I did find that they made me a little nauseous but I just started taking them before bed and I was fine.

A varied and balanced diet should give enough nutrients for you and your baby during pregnancy however if like me you suffered from morning sickness and food aversions or even bizarre cravings, I found it comforting to know that no matter how my diet was at the time my baby was still well nourished, leaving me to eat my apple pie and custard as often as I want!! ( Ok so I regretted it later when trying to loose the baby weight but it was worth it at the time!)

Posted in Pregnancy | Tags: Folic Acid, Morning Sickness, Nutrition In Pregnancy, Pregnacare Plus, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Blog, Pregnancy Symptoms, Vitamins | No Comments

Pregnancy Myths – Part 2

Posted on December 27, 2011 by Emma

Don’t begin any exercise that you are not already doing prior to pregnancy. This myth has some basis in fact. It is meant to protect the newly pregnant woman from injury. Pregnancy does more to a woman’s physiology than change her centre of gravity. From the earliest days, hormones are adapting the ligaments and muscles to become more flexible and to expand. This makes them a bit more prone to injury. It’s important to start a pregnancy exercise program carefully and seek the advice of your care provider. Pregnancy and labor represent some of the most difficult and rewarding work a woman will ever do. It makes sense to prepare yourself physically in fact it’ll not only help boost your energy but also help relieve stress. If you haven’t been participating in a regular program of exercise, walking or swimming is a good place to start, or maybe consider joining a prenatal exercise or yoga class and build it into a support group and even future playgroup. So ignore the myth about not starting a fitness program and begin working out when you are planning a pregnancy or even if pregnancy is already advanced.

ApplePie & Custard Pregnant women should eat for two. Nope. Unfortunately this one is false. In early pregnancy, your calorific needs are pretty much the same as they are in your non-pregnant state. It’s only in late pregnancy, when your baby is growing bigger and laying down fat in readiness for birth, that you need to eat more and actually only require 300 extra calories a day. So technically you should be eating for about one and a fifth. If you do eat for two, you’ll end up with a bigger baby and a bigger bum! I can definitely vouch for this one due to my apple pie & custard cravings in my second pregnancy (In fact I still crave custard now).

You can’t fly during your first or last trimester. Nope. False again. You can fly whenever you want. Take care to get up and move around on long flights to avoid blood clots (and if you’re planning one last holiday before the baby, check airline policy – as some may not permit long-haul journeys after a certain date in your pregnancy). Some airlines won’t let you on the plane in your last trimester, but that has more to do with fears that you’ll go into labor and force the plane to land or spoil the carpet than fears for the safety of you and your baby.

Posted in Pregnancy | Tags: Flying In Pregnancy, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Blog, Pregnancy Cravings, Pregnancy Exercise, Pregnancy Symptoms | No Comments

Pregnancy Myths Part 1, Everyones Got An Opinion

Posted on December 23, 2011 by Emma

If you are anything like me you couldn’t / can’t wait to meet your baby and want to know as much as you possibly can about them. Unfortunately it’s one long waiting game and although people will tell you a variety of things about your unborn baby they have no miraculous insight and are just as clueless as you!

Speech Bubbles Once your bump starts to show, not a week will pass without someone eyeing it knowingly and announcing that you’re carrying low so it must be a boy (or high, for a girl). In fact other than ultrasound and amniocentesis, there is no way to determine the gender of the baby you are carrying.
Babies are carried differently based on their presentation (breech, vertex, transverse), their position (anterior, posterior), their gestational age and weight, maternal weight and stature and whether this is the mother’s first, second, third … baby.

Fetal heartbeat is really no help either. Heart tones may be heard as early as eight to ten weeks using Doppler technology. Until about 20 weeks, it is not unusual to have a fetal heartbeat in the 150 to 160 range. As the baby’s heart develops and the neurological system matures, the count may fall to between 130 to 140. The normal range is 120 to 160, and his/her here rate is likely to vary anyway depending on how active baby is at the time of being monitored. Some say that a fast heart rate is a girl, based on the fact that women’s heart rates are faster than men’s. But if this were the case for an unborn baby, we would all start out as girls and turn into boys!

Heartburn means hair – Heartburn is very common in pregnancy – due to pregnancy hormones loosening the muscles of your oesophagus. And contrary to belief, it doesn’t mean your baby will be born with a full head of hair! After 2 babies one with a full head of hair and one with not so much I can vouch for this one as I struggled with severe heartburn in BOTH of my pregnancies.

Sickness is worse with girls. Like the other gender-related pregnancy myths, this one is generally considered untrue… I suffered in both pregnancies and know many people who didn’t suffer at all and there doesn’t seem to be any correlation between the sickness and the sex of their babies.

Posted in Pregnancy | Tags: Gender Prediction, Heartburn, Morning Sickness, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Blog, Pregnancy Symptoms | No Comments